a medley of childhood memories

recurring dreams of a little girl in school clothes
driving dad's car but wearing no shoes

my nan and me with steaming iron
allowed for the first time, the aroma lasts
a miner's lamp on the wall to signify her past
sadness in dad's early morning eyes
table of many colours over the years
dancing in swimsuit in welcome summer rain
from the bridge, the steam rising
on the hill, 50 pence rolling
gooseberry bushes - avoiding the prickles
lots of laughter and plenty of tickles
over the garages down to the shops
making a rockery and a pond for frogs
around and around on the witches hat
cycling up and down tracks, through the trees
hiding behind the baths, sneaky cigarettes
being grounded for wanting to wear plimsolls for fun
lying by the river, in daffodils and sun
blue eyeshadow applied by sharon's mum





then came the loss
and it came again and again
a feeling to never go away
a hole inside that never mended
or ended
smaller than it was, context put in place
but it came when so young and so small
it will never leave now matter how tall
i think i am
it taints and tints all that i think and feel
its there still

precious snippets of a little remembered days